Life with boys–I’m telling you-it’s like nothing you would expect and everything you dreamed. These boys have me on my toes nonstop and I am all about it. Going into this, though, I really didn’t know what to expect. SO for those who may be having a baby boy–or maybe even have a little one–prepare yourself for these things.
1. Boys are smelly.
Someone-please explain to me how girls can always be dainty and put together and never smell as bad as a boy. And from experience, ( I have teenage nephews) I know it never gets better. They always stink. Why? Girls sweat. They play. But they STILL don’t stink like boys. So buy stock in Febreze and be prepared to spray their feet when they take off their shoes. (Again–poor nephews have been sprayed many a time by this auntie. Sorry guys. Your feet are rancid.)
All I have to say is, thank goodness my kids like to take baths! Im telling you-the little one has the grossest smelling feet and let’s just be honest and say his butt smells like butt. It’s the worst. Boys stink. Number 1 covered.
2. They are dangerous.
Why is it that the male species must always do the dangerous? Why? “Hey Mom. Watch this.” Famous last words, am I right? Every time I turn around, my kids have to be jumping over someone. Jumping over something. Jumping off of the couch. Jumping from couch to couch. Jumping off the swing. Always jumping. Why can’t we just stay on the ground? If there is a high point-they have to climb to it. If there is water-they have to get as close as humanly possible before backing off. It’s like they just want to see me jump in after them. (Weirdly enough, I have never had to rescue them from any body of water.)
Believe it or not, I try to do workouts as home every so often. As soon as I hit the floor for a good ab-workout, a kid is jumping on my stomach. ALWAYS WITH THE JUMPING. I am blaming my lack of abs on my kids. Just roll with it, k?
Back to the water for a sec–our last beach trip, we spent a good amount of our time out on the pier. I swear if every time I turned around, these kids weren’t hanging halfway through the boards looking into the ocean. As if the ocean isn’t huge enough to see otherwise–they have to get THAT MUCH CLOSER. And put me THAT MUCH CLOSER to a heart attack. It’s a boy thing-Give Mom a heart attack. Is this on every single toddler’s bucket list? I am not sure..but my kids sure are trying to test the theory.
3. Boys pee nonstop
Why? Why must you test every bathroom everywhere we go? Why do you want me to stop on the road every half hour so you can pee? Every patch of grass is the same. Every blacktop is the same. Why do we feel the need to pee on every single tree/bush in the yard? Boys? Anyone? Can anyone explain?? Although it’s convenient, it isn’t normal. But I’m sure all my fellow boy mom’s get it.
4. Boys are dramatic.
Ok, I know this is a girl thing. But I am telling you, boys are DRAMATIC. At least mine are. The tiniest scratch-the world is crashing. Someone took the last sip of the drink-prepare for waterworks. The dog is chewing the baseball…ohhhhh man. So for all you who think ” Yay! I’m having a boy! I’m getting off easy!” -Nah. They are drama. Maybe not girl drama-but still drama.
5. Life is all sports-all the time.
Our boys are little sports fanatics….and they get it honest. But I am telling you–it’s nonstop sports here. Baseball, football, golf, basketball-you name it-we are playing it. Cash grabs his ball and glove the moment he wakes up and brings it everywhere we go. Kinda cute if you ask me 😉 Ford is extremely athletic and I love every bit of it. He is amazing to watch! At any rate, prepare to buy every single ball at every single store for the rest of your life…and you should probably go ahead and buy a toy box dedicated solely to sporting equipment–or maybe a shed.
6. Boys like to dress up.
Did any other first time boy moms know this? This was one of those things I would like to have done with a little girl-but oh it’s so fun with little boys! They want to be cowboys and superheroes and cartoon characters and it’s a HOOT. I love to see these little imagination’s run wild. We have dressed our youngest as Batman and the dog as Robin for goodness sake! Gah I was dying of the cute-overload then. We have had Spiderman, Superman, Firefighters, and who knows what else. *Insider tip* Wait til the first week of November and stock up on fun costumes for the kids. I buy mine at Bargain Hunt and they are usually $1.00! *
(This was last week- I wish I could post the slow-mo video of the epic battle between Michael Angelo and Bumblebee. It was ground-breaking. )
7. Boys like stuffed animals.
I remember being pregnant with Ford and asking my cousin ” Should I buy him stuffed animals? Will boys play with them?” She is a Mom of 2 teenagers now and said “Of course! My boys loved their Lovies.” Don’t ask me why I thought otherwise–but I will tell you what-my oldest LOVES his animals. If we even attempt to get rid of them the waterworks start. So go ahead-stock up. They love them!
8. They eat NON-STOP.
You have heard it before–boys eat. But like–it’s unreal. As soon as breakfast is over they ask for a snack. Then 2nd snack. Then lunch. 10 minutes later–they are famished. I can’t keep up! My kids are only 3 and 5 so maybe we should set up a Go-fund me page for when our kids are teenagers. Otherwise, we may end up in the poor house…Hahah. Just kidding. But really. #sendfood
9. Farts and Poop are funny from Day 1.
Gross-but true. Literally-newborns coo and smile after a good gas pass. Toddlers learn to belly laugh at a good fart. Smelly poop is hysterical. Long turds are share-worthy. No joke–if the turd is long enough-you will hear one kid yell for the other to come see. It happens in this house all too often. So prepare yourselves-it never quits.
10. Boys love their Mama’s
To finish is off, I have to brag on the love for Mama. Daddy, of course, is the hero-but when everything goes to heck-they call for Mom. When they want a good cuddle..they run to Mommy. When they want to share their latest accomplishment, Mum is first to know. So don’t get too scared by all the crazy y’all. The love they show far surpasses any of the heart attacks they give you along the way. It’s worth every second. Promise.
So all of you boy-mom’s…Did this post ring true for you? What has been your experience with little boys? Fill me in! I want to know!
All the love dolls 💋